


a kiss with a fist is better than none

by gaily-daily (passionateartist)



Series: won't you hold my heart [9]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: I'm a goddamn genius, M/M, Praise me, student!Danny, teacher!Vlad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22555252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passionateartist/pseuds/gaily-daily
Summary: Danny has told Vlad his schemes have always been more suited for a Saturday morning cartoon villain. As he hovers in the classroom doorway, staring like an idiot at the substitute professor, he stands by that previous statement.
Relationships: Danny Fenton/Vlad Masters
Series: won't you hold my heart [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557736
Comments: 7
Kudos: 149





	a kiss with a fist is better than none

**Author's Note:**

> Title is the song of the same name by Florence and the Machine

Title: a kiss with a fist is better than none  
Summary: Danny has told Vlad his schemes have always been more suited for a Saturday morning cartoon villain. As he hovers in the classroom doorway, staring like an idiot at the substitute professor, he stands by that previous statement.   
Tags: teacher!Vlad, student!Danny, I'm a goddamn genius, praise me  
Notes: title is kiss with a fist by Florence and the Machine  
End notes: I stole Mateo from the show Superstore. He's one of my favorite characters on there and I highly recommend it! It may not be as popular as Brooklyn Nine-Nine but it's just as funny! It's on Hulu if anybody is interested!

As for the camera in the shower, I really had to think about that one. Is this something Vlad would do? Pre relationship I don't think even Vlad would be that creepy. But afterwards Vlad would be in the mindset that he's already seen that naked booty before. Which obviously means he's entitled to see it as much as he wants whenever he wants. 

PS I was looking for videos on how to tie a tie and I found Thor?? https://youtu.be/JHnb98xXbJ4 your friendly tie store (ASMR). And in case you're wondering yes he DID do a Thor themed ASMR video! 

Danny had never intended to actually move out. It was only supposed to be for a couple of days. But then Vlad had placed him under house arrest. Complete with a pair of fucking handcuffs. Everything kind of spiraled out of control after that.

It had put a few things into perspective for him though. He'd spent way too much time in that castle. He hardly knew his classmates. Barely talked to Sam or Tucker. He desperately needed to get out more. Do something. Talk to people. Join a club.

The first friend he makes is Mateo, which is surprising for both of them. Mateo was the kind of suck up who constantly wanted praise in every single thing he did. The whole class hated him. Always the first to raise his hand and always the first to point out someone else's flaws to make himself look better. He had a round type face and large black glasses. The kind that would have subjected him to merciless teasing in high school, but somehow Mateo made it work for him. 

He'd been in Russian I last year and Danny was really hoping he wouldn't continue in Russian II. Unfortunately the gods did not smile upon him. Mateo had shown up on the first day sitting in the front row. Danny had chosen to sit in the back, as per usual. 

And from there they continued to ignore each other's existence like last semester until Danny had effectively disappeared from school for almost two weeks. The incident at the Guys in White facility had taken a lot out of him. Not to mention Vlad and the whole moving out thing. So when he finally came back to class Danny found he was rather lost. He hadn't been doing terribly before, but he was struggling to learn Russian a lot more than he would have cared to admit. In high school, whenever he was struggling, he normally just asked Sam or Tucker for their notes. And when push came to shove he could always rely on Jazz to help him understand the material. But now he had no one. And the homework had piled up.

He's packing up his messenger bag when Mateo comes up beside him.

"Haven't seen you around in a while." He says. 

Danny honestly didn't even know that Mateo knew who he was before that moment. He merely blinks stupidly and has to stop himself from turning his head in a comical fashion to check and see if he was indeed the one Mateo was addressing. 

"You can look at my notes if you need any help. My next class isn't until 5." Mateo tells him, checking his nails like he couldn't care less. Like him approaching Danny was an accident.

Danny opens his mouth to politely decline. But then thinks better of it. He did need help after all. 

"Uh, sure."

And from there it was a very odd yet very interesting friendship. Mateo wasn't anything like Sam or Tucker. And he definitely wasn't the sort of person he normally sought out to make friends with. But he found Mateo could be fiercely loyal and rather vicious with his words. He'd yet to beat him at Mario Kart and he always brought the best snacks. Plus now he had a partner in Russian he could rely on.

There'd been one super awkward moment when Mateo had leaned in to kiss him and Danny had flinched. Mateo had immediately gotten up to leave and Danny had to pull him back and reassure him several times that he still wanted to be friends. Thankfully, Mateo had stayed.

The second friend he makes is less of a friend and more of an acquaintance that won't leave him alone. But hey, at least Mateo liked her. Or at least Danny thinks he does. They had that sort of passive aggressive type of friendship that Danny doesn't quite understand. Even now he cowers in fear in the background whenever they start to argue. 

Her name was Kristi and she'd literally followed him to Russian II despite not having taken any Russian before or having any real interest in the language. He'd met the bubbly girl on campus one night after spotting two guys crowding around her behind the science building. He'd made short work of the two and then offered to walk her back to her dorm. She'd never left him alone after that. 

She was an annoyance at best, but not so bad that Danny wanted to tell her to stop talking to him. He'd feel too guilty anyway. The fact that all he had to do was show her the tiniest bit of decency for Kristi to automatically think he was the one for her told him a lot more than she ever could. Somewhere in there Danny feels incredibly sad for how low women standards are for men. But right now all he can do is just listen to her ramble. He only hopes she starts to fixate on some other guy soon.

Mateo had certainly helped in that department. "Oh honey no. He's already got himself a man."

For a wild moment Danny had thought Mateo was talking about himself. But then remembered the numerous flowers and chocolates he kept throwing into the trash and Mateo was always more curious for his good. He's asked multiple times who V.M. was but Danny wasn't telling.

The only thing Mateo really knew about the mystery man was that he was the reason why Danny had started taking Russian. He'd been thinking about just dropping it altogether after moving out. It'd been on a whim that he'd even signed up in the first place. Danny had always assumed Vlad's name was just him being from an eccentric family and that he didn't actually know any Russian. But then that all had been blown out of the water when Vlad had received a phone call at dinner and Vlad had calmly spoken with a deep and penetrating Russian voice that was sending Danny to an early grave. Danny didn't even think the man had noticed at all. But then later when Danny was undressing for bed and Vlad had started whispering Russian nothings into his ear. He'd noticed alright.

He swallows hard at the memory. 

After that he'd secretly taken up learning the language. Or he hoped it had been secret. With Danny living with him what reason did Vlad have to spy on him anymore? It was a naive sort of thought but Danny clung to it all the same. At the time Danny figured he'd just use the excuse that he wanted to eavesdrop on his Russian conversations to one-up the man. Yeah, that sounded plausible.

"You're going to have to spill that tea sometime." He warns Danny on their way to class. 

"Hm?" Danny blinks out of his thoughts.

"You were staring off into space. You only get that specific look when you're thinking about your mysterious Russian lover."

Danny rolls his eyes. Vlad wasn't mysterious and he wasn't Russian. At least...at least not full Russian? Was he half? Danny doesn't know. He'd never asked. His Dad might know. 

"I told you I'm not--"

"Yes, yes, you're not thinking about him even though you obviously are. You're not that hard to read Danny Fenton."

They walk through the classroom door. Mateo spots Kristi and goes to sit by her but Danny is still stuck in the doorway staring in horror at the scene before him. Danny has told Vlad his schemes have always been more suited for a Saturday morning cartoon villain. And as he hovers there blinking like an idiot at the new substitute professor, he stands by that previous statement. 

Vlad's triumphant smirk snakes across his face. He's sporting a pair of glasses as if that somehow made him appear more sophisticated. (It does.) On the board behind him he has written the name Professor Dalv Volkev. Subtle Vlad. Real subtle. But the thing that stands out most is his hair. He's dyed it black. It shaves at least 20 years off his face. He looks like a young man of 30 years. It's almost surprising by how much a simple color switch has changed him. 

He hesitates. Wondering if he should just cut his losses and walk back out. Kristi calls out his name and waves him over. Mateo is glancing back and forth between him and Vlad. Trying to put the pieces together. Finally Danny hangs his head and accepts his fate. But he glares at Vlad the whole walk over to his seat. 

"What's up with you?"

Danny grumbles not answering. Kristi leans over, obnoxiously pushing herself into the conversation.

"What?" She asks Mateo. "Is there something wrong with Danny?"

"Well there wasn't until a few...moments...ago…" Mateo blinks slowly. Looking back at the new Professor whom Danny was glaring so fiercely at. He gasps softly. "Oh my god."

"What??" 

"The substitute is Danny's ex!" Mateo whispers to Kristi who also gasps. Danny sinks lower in his seat, feeling like he was in some lame college rom com. 

" _This_ is the hot Russian man?" Mateo gives Vlad an appreciative once over. Kristi giggles behind her hand. "Damn Fenton no wonder you're so tight lipped about it! You don't want anyone else snatching him up!"

Vlad's eyes snap to Mateo because of course he'd been listening in dammit. Fucking ghost hearing. Danny groans and hits his forehead to his desk. 

What's worse is that he can already hear the rest of the class whispering. Wondering what happened to their other professor and will this be permanent? Please God let this be permanent. 

He doesn't have to look up to know Vlad is grinning. His pencil snaps in half in his hand. It's going to be a long lesson.

-

Vlad introduces himself and announces that his predecessor had taken a sudden and unexpected sabbatical. It was unclear when or if he would return. In the meantime he was more than happy to answer any and all questions.

For the entire class Danny is forced to listen to more than one dreamy sigh. Plus Mateo won't stop nudging him and winking. He should have just left. He should have just turned around and left. 

Finally, blessedly, it's time to leave. Danny had originally wanted to sprint out the door but he knows there's no avoiding this. And now that he's been in here for over an hour stewing in his own anger. He's itching for a fight. Vlad won't be so smug for next class if he has a black eye.

"You coming?" Kristi looks back when Danny doesn't move to gather his things.

"No." Danny doesn't bother pretending to be slow. Or that he has to go to the bathroom. They know why he's staying behind. 

She shares a look with Mateo and they smirk at him. There was going to be a bombardment later. He wouldn't be able to avoid it. All the more reason to punch Vlad in the face.

He has to wait an extra 15 minutes. Several students have stayed behind to personally greet the new Professor. Vlad takes it all in kind. Charming each and every student. Danny rolls his eyes so hard his head spins.

Finally the last one leaves and they're alone. 

"You've certainly improved in your selection of friends." Vlad's smile quirks up just enough to let Danny know he's mocking him. "Really they're so utterly delightful. You simply must introduce them later."

"Why are you here Vlad?" Danny cuts him off, knowing the beginning of a tangent when he hears one.

"All this time and you don't want to see me?"

Danny glares. "I asked for space and you haven't given me any! You keep bombarding me with useless gifts!"

"How else am I supposed to get your attention? You won't respond to my texts."

Danny opens his mouth and closes it. He breathes. 

"Come now Daniel you're really surprised?"

No. He really wasn't. This was typical Vlad fashion and he hated him for it. The man was obsessive. He'd known from the beginning Vlad possessed stalker tendencies. Vlad didn't understand the meaning of space.

So he changes his direction. "Where the hell is Professor Smirnov?"

"Oh relax Daniel. He's perfectly fine."

Danny squints at the man. Vlad's definition of 'fine' could sometimes be fatal. Still, he's positive Vlad hasn't killed the man if anything else. Maybe hypnotized him and dumped him on an island somewhere.

"Shouldn't you be running your multi-million dollar company?"

"Billion." Vlad corrects him. Because he can't resist. "And I always have time for you little badger."

Danny bristles and Vlad tilts his head at him. Observing his reactions like some animal. 

"What's the big plan here Plasmius? Gonna slip in subliminal messages into the lesson plan?"

Vlad chuckles. "Of course not! Although…"

There is a fifty-fifty chance that Vlad is only joking with him. Danny narrows his eyes all the same.

"Oh relax Daniel! I wouldn't do anything to your classmates."

"Maybe, but you certainly don't care about damage control." Every ghost he'd sent after Danny had been a potential danger to his classmates and teachers whether or not they were the intended target. 

Vlad's mouth quirks up. "Funny you should say that. As you always seemed to cause more damage than the actual ghosts you were fighting."

Danny's cheeks redden as his eyes glow. Vlad doesn't even twitch under his gaze. 

"Stay away from me. And stay away from my friends."

"I promise not to approach them. But I won't be able to help it if they approach me. I am their teacher after all."

The ground under Danny's feet becomes slippery with ice. He closes his eyes, trying to reign it in. It was embarrassing to lose this much control in such a short amount of time. He grips his backpack and forces himself to turn and leave. He's had enough madness for one day.

"Be sure to read all of chapter 7." Vlad tells his retreating form. "We're having a pop quiz next week."

Danny grits his teeth. He tells himself he's not running away. But it doesn't feel like it. 

-

He gives serious thought to simply not going anymore. But Vlad would no doubt fail him and his grade average would suffer. And if he drops, Mateo and Kristi would eternally nag him for it. Now that they had bonded over Russian it seemed logical for them to stay in it together. Also, Danny can admit to himself, he really doesn't feel comfortable leaving the rest of his fellow classmates to the mercy of Vlad Masters. He's still no idea what the game plan is here. Though he has a sneaking suspicion it's just to get under his skin. In the most elaborate way possible.

And so he goes. Every day he listens to Vlad's fake accent and his collared shirts under pressed vests. He didn't _have_ to use the accent. But he's just so extra like that and now Danny has to listen to Vlad use his stupid sexy voice while trying to concentrate on his stupid homework. God he hated his life.

He won't stop picking on Danny either. Calling him out and forcing him to answer increasingly difficult questions and smirking when he fails. (Or praising him when he's right and his goddamn blush won't go away and Kristi pokes his heated cheeks.)

What's worse is that Carissa, the girl who likes to sit in the front as close to Vlad as possible, won't stop winking Vlad's way and sucking on her pen. 

"God he's so hot for an older man." She tells her friend what's-her-face. He doesn't need super hearing to hear her. Carissa tends to whisper at full volume.

There's always a gaggle of people after class asking for help on the homework. Needing special attention because they're not quite sure they've grasped the concept. Could you please teach me how to _grasp_ it better Mr. Volkov?

"He's so helpful and suave!"

"I think it's just the accent Jess."

"Oh it's _definitely_ the accent!"

Vlad probably thought himself a Hannibal Lecter type character. Suave, meticulous, with a foreign flair that added to his natural confidence. But Danny knows the truth. He was goddamn Plankton from SpongeBob. He threw tantrums when things didn't go right. 

Danny wants to scream at everyone that they're wrong. Vlad isn't some cool gentleman. He wears a _cape_. And if that doesn't tell you everything you need to know then he can't help you.

He'd thought he found the perfect solution by simply napping through class. It would piss Vlad off and Danny wouldn't have to look at his face. Win win. But then when he jerks awake when his ghost sense goes off. Vlad isn't looking at him but he is hovering closer then he would like. He looks smug and the class is laughing. Like Vlad has just told a joke. Mateo looks only slightly sympathetic and Danny just knows that whatever the joke had been, it was obviously at Danny's expense.

He grumbles, shoving his hands into his sweater pockets only to clasp his fingers around a piece of paper. Confused, he pulls it out and opens it. The note itself is written in Russian. Danny takes a little longer to translate than he would like.

_You're adorable when you sleep badger._

Danny turns the paper over.

_But when you snore you sound like a pig._

That mother--

"--fucker!!"

Danny paces his living room back and forth. His laptop lays open in the coffee table.

"Why the hell is wrong with him!? What the absolute shit is wrong with him???"

"Danny, dude, my guy, you need to calm down." Tucker's voice comes from the laptop. His face in the display screen alongside Sam's.

"When you called an emergency meeting I thought it was over something serious." Sam mutters darkly. She's dressed in a fuzzy black robe. Danny doesn't want to speculate what she'd been doing before.

"It is serious!" Danny waves his hands animatedly. "He won't leave me alone!"

"Yeah, and the last time you called a meeting it was because he was."

Danny stops mid stride. His neck cranes to stare at Tucker through the digital screen.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks through clenched teeth.

Tucker raises his hands as if to wipe them clean of the situation.

"Oh no! Go ahead! Finish your thought Tucker I'd just love it if you shared your precious insight!"

Sam comes to Tucker's rescue. 

"Do you remember when you called us a month after you moved out of Vlad's place?"

"Yes."

Danny had only been living on his own for around two months. But for the first four weeks Vlad had left him completely alone. Ah, what simple times those had been. 

Sam raises her eyes like Danny has missed the entire point. Which in all fairness he probably has.

"Do you remember what we talked about?" 

"Yeah why wouldn't I?"

Danny's gaze flicks from Sam to Tucker. He squints at them. "What does that have to do with anything?"

His friends groan over the screen. Twin sounds of suffering. Danny may not be able to rant about how awful Vlad is to Mateo and Kristi (they didn't properly despise the man for that. Only wanting to talk about his smooth voice or his glittering eyes.) but at least they didn't constantly berate Danny for his obliviousness. 

"Bro, you literally would not shut up about him ignoring you."

Danny's face melts into stone. "That's not how I remember it."

"And how do you remember it?"

"Oh I dunno, that I was confiding in my two best _supposed_ friends that Vlad was being way too quiet and that he definitely had to be planning something-- _of which I was right about by the way!"_

He'd admit, he had been a little paranoid that first month. Mostly angry. Definitely sad. But also worried why Vlad was taking so long to retaliate. After years of having the man breathing down his neck it was weird for everything to be so quiet. 

Sam had told him to just be grateful for the peace and quiet. Danny had told her it wasn't peace and quiet, it was the calm before the storm. Vlad Masters didn't just give up.

He'd been so worked up he'd stomped off into his bedroom, wandered in a circle, before stomping back in and talking again like he hadn't just had a meltdown.

"He's _so_ wrong if he thinks he'll get the drop on me! Like he can pretend to ignore me and I won't catch on!" 

"He's just so frustrating! Why does he have to go out of his way to be all sneaky?! Why can't he just be upfront and say what he wants!"

Sam had opened her mouth to tell Danny that Vlad was incredibly up front about many things but Danny cut her off. 

"I don't need him in my life! He needs me! Let's see how long he lasts before breaking! He'll come crawling back like he always does!"

In that moment, they all had the simultaneous blasphemous thought that Danny is the only person who actually liked it when Vlad was extra. The only person who enjoyed over-the-top weird gestures of devotion that would otherwise come off as weird and stalkerish.

Danny shakes the memory away with an angry growl. He'd been right about being paranoid. But that didn't make the current situation any better. 

"Danny, we love you, but if this isn't an actual emergency I'm otherwise preoccupied at the moment." Sam says firmly but gently.

Danny frowns at her. 

Tucker chimes in sheepishly. "Maybe Jazz would be better at this sort of thing?"

And of course he's right. The three of them had liked harping on Vlad's case as teens. But as young adults it's less about making fun of him so much as it's Danny ranting about his relationship. Jazz is the only one who still tolerates him in that.

Danny's shoulders slump and he groans as he crashes onto the couch. He presses his face into the cotton and hopes it suffocates him. He hears Sam say goodbye and she taps out. Tucker offers to play Overwatch later when he has time. Danny mumbles an affirmation and he's once again alone.

-

Mateo has been trying to get him to go to a college party ever since he discovered that Danny had never been to one. Kristi is just as scandalized by the revelation. Danny doesn't know why it's such a big deal. 

"Because it's like...like going to an amusement park and not riding any of the roller coasters!"

To Mateo's chagrin Danny isn't interested in getting wasted. And he isn't interested in getting laid. The few parties he'd been to in high school weren't anything to sing home about. The alcohol was cheap and terrible. The people were either too stuck up to talk to you or too drunk to form coherent sentences. Danny isn't the least bit interested in a night of pretending to drink beer and holding one sided conversations. He's never been particularly social. He liked his friends. And he liked his family. And that had always been enough for him. 

"I thought you said you wanted to go to a party!"

"No I said I'd think about it. I did. I don't want to."

Danny fishes his keys from his jeans pocket and balances his phone in his other hand. Mateo whines into the speaker. Danny holds it away from his ear. He jiggles the keyhole and unlocks the door.

"Look, I don't mind if it's like for a birthday or something but frat parties aren't really my--" 

Danny pauses at the figure on his couch. 

"I'm going to have to call you back." It comes out more clipped than he would like it to. "No, no something just came up."

Vlad smirks at him, sipping at his drink. The smell of tea wafts through the air. Danny doesn't own any tea.

Danny ends the call and slides the phone back into his pocket. He decides to completely ignore the elephant in the room and heads into his very small kitchen. He feels Vlad staring at the back of his head. Danny opens his cabinets, making sure everything that was supposed to be there was actually there. If Vlad threw away his Doritos in some healthy spiel he swears to God he won't be responsible for the answering carnage. 

A clink of a cup sounds as Vlad places his tea on the coffee table. He sighs softly like Danny is being difficult.

Okay. His chips are still there. Good. He's also found the tea. Along with a few other things that had less to do with flavor and more to do with a balanced diet. The boil of anger brews coldly in his stomach. Vlad didn't have that right anymore. And yet here he was. Inserting himself into Danny's life. As always. 

He feels the heat of Vlad's familiar core of energy. It moves closer until Vlad is standing behind him. It saps the ice that always seems to coat his skin and replaces it with heat. Just like last time. Just like every time. Danny wonders if he affects Vlad in the same manner. If he feels his warmth slip out from under him whenever Danny is near.

"It's a Chai brand." Vlad says watching Danny pick up the tea. "It's good for your--"

Danny dumps it into the trash. 

"Get out."

Danny doesn't deign to look at him. He reaches up to pull more things off the shelves. He wasn't eating or drinking anything Vlad had gotten for him. 

In hindsight it wasn't a very good idea to keep your back on your enemy. 

His head slams into the countertop and Danny screeches in pain. The taste of blood fills his mouth. He tries to move but Vlad has a tight hold on the back of his head. He twists angrily. He yells savagely, spit flying and making Danny feel more feral than he was.

Vlad grabs one of his arms and presses it hard into his back. The more Danny struggles the higher Vlad yanks it. 

"You're gonna break my arm you asshole!"

"Nonsense." Vlad huff's way too close to Danny's ear. Danny growls at his body's inappropriate response and prays Vlad doesn't notice. "Besides it's nothing you won't heal from in a day's time."

The pot boils over. Spilling acidic rage over his lungs and heart and stomach. 

With his free hand he makes a desperate grab--a can of beans--wraps his fingers around it and twists as far as he can. The can smashes into the side of Vlad's face. Danny's arm is released and he immediately turns to hit Vlad again. Something cracks and Danny hopes it's Vlad's nose. Under the adrenaline and the heat, Danny notices the very small hint satisfaction that came with using his fists rather than a weapon. (Or in this case a can of beans.) Not wanting to interpret that, he shoves it away easily enough. 

Vlad leans against the counter, trying to reorient himself. Danny backs away to the wall. He swallows, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. Vlad looks up, pinning him with a red stare that would make lesser men fall to their knees and beg for forgiveness. But the devil wasn't known for mercy. And neither was Vlad.

Vlad cricks his neck and rolls his shoulders. The muscles expand under his shirt. Something was definitely broken. The skin itself had already healed any cuts but the blood was still there on his lip. Danny feels a trickle from his forehead down his cheek. He probably looked just as bad. As he brings an arm up to wipe the blood away, Vlad licks away his own mess with fangy grin. 

Something stumbles inside him and spills out into his chest. It is the exact opposite reaction of what a sane person should have. This thought does not help him. He's still staring at Vlad's lips.

The sounds of Danny's obnoxious alarm go off inside his pocket and Danny tenses. He digs his hand inside to find the phone and quiet it. He looks at the time already knowing what it was going to say.

"Shit!"

Tension now broken, Danny leaves Vlad in his kitchen and heads straight into his room. He'd been coming home to get ready for his interview today. But if course Vlad had chosen now to show up. What a fucking coincidence. 

Danny shoves open his closet door and hurriedly takes out the newly pressed suit and tie within. If he flies instead of driving maybe he'll still be able to make it. 

"Late for your interview little badger?"

"You would know." 

He doesn't bother glaring at him, far too concerned with getting dressed. He forgoes dignity and simply strips down in front of the man. There isn't any time to waste and Danny knows Vlad won't give him any privacy even if he asks nicely. He pulls the pants on first and hurriedly slides the shirt on, tucks it in, and then the jacket. Danny looks at his face in the bathroom mirror trying to ignore Vlad's pompous smirk in the background. Any cuts he had are gone but he still needed to wash up. He throws some water into his face and wipes himself down with a washcloth. Next his combs his hair. He attempts to put a little bit of product in to smooth it out. It wasn't perfect but it would have to do.

Danny buttons himself up and moves to grab the last piece. His tie. He places it over his head and pauses. Tries and fails to remember how he'd done this last time. It'd been too long since the last time he had to wear one. Growing up, his dad would always weirdly insist on being the one to tie it for him. It made his dad happy to be helpful so Danny just let it go. Then after he moved out he just watched a tutorial. Except Danny is terrible at retaining information. He cannot recall it for the life of him.

Vlad watches him fail three times before stepping closer. Danny gives a warning growl but he doesn't move away. He lets Vlad reach up from behind him and grab at his tie. 

"You think you would remember how to do this by now Daniel."

He em>did at one point. It's not his fault he keeps forgetting. Besides, why bother remembering how to do stuff when YouTube existed?

Vlad's hands move expertly around his neck. Danny is still breathing a little too heavy from their fight but Vlad has already recovered and is perfectly fine. His hair has been smoothed back into place like nothing had even happened.

"Which knot would you like?"

Danny blinks. Vlad just smiles in that secret way and Danny knows that Vlad is aware Danny has no idea there are different kinds of tie knots. He's just messing with him. Again. 

Danny sincerely wishes he could just blow this whole thing off and shove Vlad out of his apartment and out of his life. But he needs this job. Now that Danny had refused to take any more money from Vlad, he had to pay for the apartment on his own. He's not even going to think about asking his parents for help. 

So he grits his teeth and lets Vlad talk. 

"I suspect you are familiar with either the four-in-hand knot--which is the easiest--or the commonly known Windsor knot. Though a full Windsor knot should be reserved for spread collars, not pointed." Vlad's hands smooth the wrinkles over Danny's shoulders. "Pointed collars, like the one you are wearing, are the most versatile look and pair best with a round-type face. Therefore I would suggest the-four in-hand knot which serves to lengthen the face and detract from width."

Vlad reaches down and takes hold of his tie once again. He doesn't comment on the poor quality of the material. 

"Cross the wide end under the narrow end. Then over and across the front." Danny watches his hands in the mirror. His baritone voice fills his ears and clouds his mind. "Bring it up through the neck loop and down the loop you've created on the front. Pull and straighten."

The knot settles under Danny's chin. The fabric crinkles pleasantly.

"The tip should fall between the top and bottom of your belt." Vlad measures the tie, taking note of it's length. It fell just short of his belt. Vlad takes the knot and begins to undo it. "Repetition is a necessary step in getting it right."

It slides away and Vlad adjusts the length. Danny catches his eyes in the mirror. The smug air from before has warmed into a genuine smile. Danny looks away and tries not to tense. It was better not to let the man know how much he affected him. (Though he really was just fooling himself if he believed he could keep anything from Vlad.)

Vlad walked him through every step again. Using polite, soft instructions. It was a perfect opportunity to condescend him. Yet Vlad merely revels in the chance to help him with even the smallest thing.

"And there you have it. A four-in-hand knot."

Vlad's hands linger, resting over his sternum and shoulder. Waiting for Danny to pull away first.

When Danny fails to say something, Vlad's fingers search for the first button in his collar. Danny breaths out.

"You know I could get you any job you wanted." He says. 

The button pops open. Danny glances at the digital clock on his nightstand. He should leave now if he still wants to make it. 

"You wouldn't even have to apply."

Vlad moves down to the second button. Leaving more skin on Danny's neck exposed. The tie hangs loose.

"You insist on keeping up this charade that we both know your heart simply isn't into. Why can't you just simply give in?"

Vlad finds another button. His hands scorch across Danny's chest. His next breath gets caught in his throat and his back tenses against Vlad. 

He pushes Vlad away and steps back. "I want you gone when I get back."

-

Vlad isn't there when Danny returns he refuses to be upset about it.

An hour later there's a knock on his door and Danny almost thinks it's Vlad but then why would the man bother knocking? He's used to strolling around places uninvited.

Turns out it was Mateo. Danny had completely forgotten he had invited himself over in case the interview went bad. Or in case it went good. Either way they were going to hang out and eat nachos. Danny is grateful for the company. And the bean dip. God he loved Mateo's bean dip.

He's picking something out on Netflix when Mateo calls out to him. 

"Uh, Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you aware you have a camera in your kitchen?"

Danny stops. He sets the remote down. Very calmly, he turns to look at Mateo. 

"There's a what?"

Mateo moves aside as Danny comes in to inspect the tiny camera. It had been hidden behind the microwave. Danny grips it so tight it comes apart in his hand.

"Danny?"

Without a word he moves through the rest of the cabinets, the fridge, the walls. He goes into the living room and inspects his furniture. He searches behind his TV, the frames on the walls. Danny is silent as death and Mateo just blinks rapidly. Worry in his eyes. When Danny is finished he sets all 9 bugs on the coffee table. Two had been in the kitchen. Three in the living room. Three more in his bedroom and--Danny has to stomp down the absolute spike of violence--one in the shower. 

His nails dig into his palms. He doesn't realize they're even shaking until Mateo takes one in his hand.

"You okay?"

He swallows. Then swallows again. "I can't imagine why the hell I ever stopped thinking he was anything other than a creepy asshole."

He's disgusted more with himself than anything. He'd gotten so used to Vlad's tendencies he'd forgotten why they'd ever bothered him in the first place. Had started to think it was just Vlad's way of checking up on him. Showing that he cared. That Vlad was _endearing_ in his worry.

This? This wasn't about making sure Danny was safe or cared for. Vlad wanted to keep him under his thumb. It infuriated him that Danny had a life outside of him. 

He hadn't changed at all. Danny had just convinced himself that he had.

-

Mateo was a surprisingly effective barrier. After the incident with the cameras he was Team Danny all the way.

"I'm confused I thought we were Team Volkov?"

"Oh no girl." Mateo says low and angry. "We're so over that used scarf."

He explains the situation quickly and Kristi accepts it with a vigor Danny has never witnessed before. But he supposed he shouldn't be too surprised. She knew what it was like to be harassed by an ex. 

They effectively glare at Vlad every single class. When he singles Danny out for a question Kristi complains loudly that he's playing favorites. Mateo takes it upon himself to shield Danny when class ends so that Vlad can't corner him and ask him to stay after for notes or some other bullshit excuse.

Then, two weeks later, Professor Smirnov returns. Everyone except Danny, Mateo, and Kristi are severely disappointed. His friends are ecstatic for him but Danny is worried. Just like last time, this wasn't Vlad admitting defeat. This was a tactical retreat.

**Author's Note:**

> I stole Mateo from the show Superstore. He's one of my favorite characters on there and I highly recommend it! It may not be as popular as Brooklyn Nine-Nine but it's just as funny! It's on Hulu if anybody is interested!
> 
> As for the camera in the shower, I really had to think about that one. Is this something Vlad would do? Pre relationship I don't think even Vlad would be that creepy. But afterwards Vlad would be in the mindset that he's already seen that naked booty before. Which obviously means he's entitled to see it as much as he wants whenever he wants. 
> 
> PS: I was looking for videos on how to tie a tie and I found Thor?? https://youtu.be/JHnb98xXbJ4  
> And in case you're wondering yes he DID do a Thor themed ASMR video!


End file.
